A Bittersweet Day

She loved having her picture taken.

She loved having her picture taken.

Today is release day for my fourth Scallop Shores book, Trapped in Tourist Town. I should be excited. I should be plugging away, tweeting and updating statuses and flooding social media with buy links and covers.

Except that today is also the anniversary of my mother’s passing. Six years ago today we lost her to a very aggressive form of lung cancer. She was diagnosed in October and died in early January. I was eight months pregnant in October and could not fly out to the East Coast to say goodbye, something that still bothers me to this day.

People tell me she’d be so proud of me. And I get that. But a larger part of me feels that it’s too tacky and selfish to talk myself up on a day of remembrance. The funny part is, she’d probably be angry with me for that. She wouldn’t want my sisters and I to spend every January 5th mourning. She’d want us to laugh and live.

My mom LOVED attention. She could always be found in a crowd, telling jokes and talking to anyone and everyone. She was the type to walk up to a stranger in a grocery store and start a conversation, just because she thought they looked interesting. This writer introvert’s polar opposite. 😉

So I’ll think of this as “release week” instead of “release day”. I’ll use today for quiet reflection, a little bit of crying (sorry, Mom, just can’t help it) and smiles over happy memories. And tomorrow I’ll bug the crap out of everyone with my “buy my book” pleas. Sound good? K!

Love you, Mom! I miss you.